by Sam Hillview-Close*
When you finally decide to see a psychologist, it probably isn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. You don’t wake up one morning thinking, “You know what sounds fun today? Emotional vulnerability with a stranger.” No, it often comes after weeks - or months - of struggling silently, convincing yourself you’re fine... until you’re clearly not.
Booking that first appointment can feel like a huge leap. And like many people, you might not know what to expect. Maybe you're hoping for quick answers - or a magical couch that somehow fixes things by osmosis. You might be nervous: Will this person understand me? Will I even know what to say?
Learning What You Need
As you go, you start to realise something important: therapy isn’t just about showing up and talking. It’s about connection. It’s about feeling like the person sitting across from you genuinely wants to walk beside you.
You might see more than one psychologist before something clicks - and that’s okay. Each one can teach you a bit more about what you need. But then, one day, you might sit down with someone who really listens. No rushing. No pressure to fix things straight away. Just space - to think, to breathe, to be.
And that can change everything. You don’t feel like you have to justify your feelings. You can explore what’s going on inside without judgement or awkward silences. That feeling of being heard - not just your words, but your meaning – can be so powerful.
What the Right Fit Feels Like
With the right psychologist, you can feel more grounded - even when you're digging into the tough stuff. You may leave sessions feeling a little lighter, not because all your problems are solved, but because you’re not carrying them alone anymore.
There’s a rhythm to your conversations. Some days it’s about big emotions. Other days it’s about small, practical steps. But what really matters is that it feels like a partnership - not a lecture, not a checklist. Just two people working together.
You Deserve to Be Heard
If you’re starting therapy - or just thinking about it - know this: it’s okay to take your time finding the right person. That’s not failure. That’s self-awareness.
Therapists are all different. Some will click with you; others won’t. That doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you. It just means you haven’t found your person yet.
What matters is that you feel safe, respected, and understood. That you can be yourself without having to explain every part of who you are. When you find that kind of connection, it can be deeply healing.
Where Healing Begins
Therapy isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about finding someone who listens with curiosity and compassion, and who helps you untangle things in your own time, your own way.
When you find that kind of support, it’s not magic. It’s just being truly heard. And sometimes, that’s exactly where the healing begins.
* Sam Hillview-Close is a former business executive, public health administrator, Board member, writer and blogger. Sam is also a proud neurodivergent individual.
| If this blog resonates with you and you want to talk to someone, feel welcome to contact us at Inner Calm Clinical Psychology. Remember you don't have to face it alone. When you're ready, we're here to help. |
